Wellness

Healing When You Have Haters

I was thinking of some news I found out this past weekend. News that someone is spreading terrible lies about me. Some people believe them, but the people that matter know the real me and know that I would never do the things I am being accused of. They are things that would be extremely uncharacteristic of me. Thinking about these things this morning I was reminded of one of my favorite songs about haters:

I am finding it hard to get over the pain it causes me to find out someone I once thought was a friend has such an evil vendetta against me. And why? Because I called them out for bullying me? Because I opted to not have negative toxicity in my life? I’ve spent years trying to be a positive person, even in the face of adversity. I grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive mother. The man I was raised to believe was my father molested me. I married someone that was emotionally abusive and suffering clinical depression that they refused to do anything about until I left. I can’t have those kinds of people in my life. They hold me back. They dull my shine. They steal my passion. They make me lose the things that are me.

As an empath and a healer, I need to be surrounded by light and love if I want to be healthy and happy. Those are things I have now, but only because I made such drastic changes to the people I allow in my inner circle (which are very, very few).

So, how do you heal from attacks from haters, from emotional and physical abuse, from energy vampires, from lies and smear campaigns?

Talk To Someone You Trust

Having some friends in your corner can be helpful. It doesn’t matter if they’re simply someone that will let you vent or cry, or if they’re someone that will tell you to just forget about it and move on. Both of these things are good for you. In the end, the only way to keep a bully from bullying you is to ignore them and go on with your life.

Start Healing

Do whatever you can to help you heal. Write some poetry, write a letter to the person and burn it or bury it. Start meditating, especially when the situation is really stressing you out. Purchase a protective amethyst crystal to help shield you from the hate. You’ll be amazed at how much more secure these steps will make you feel.

Try To Step Away From The Situation

Block the person from your life, completely. No social media contact, don’t even look them up. Tell your mutual friends that you don’t want to hear about them at all. There’s no problem being friends with people that are still friends with them, it’s easy enough to do separate things and live separate lives within the same city and the same world. If you see them in public, look the other way. Essentially, you need to act as though that person doesn’t exist to you. It’s easier said than done, especially for an empath.

Don’t “Fight Back”

Fighting fire with fire just burns the building down faster. Don’t bother fighting back. Whether you’re simply standing up for yourself or lashing out in retaliation, all you’re doing is fueling their fire. If you ignore it all and don’t let it affect you it will go away sooner or later. They’ll get bored when they’re no longer hurting you and move on to their next target.

I think it takes a certain kind of person to be a sadistic and evil bully. I’ve been doing a lot of research on narcissism. It’s frightening. Mainly my research is to help me make sure I avoid these issues in the future. I am tired of my heart hurting, of people projecting their insecurities on me, and of people spreading lies about me as though we’re still in high school. As you grow older you think that you’re moving away from these things, but for some reason, there always has to be that one drama queen that sneaks into your life and sucks out your soul and hope.

I hope this post helps you move on from the haters in your life. Just realize that most of them are like this toward you because of jealousy. You have something they wish they had, so they are going to do what they can to take that away from you. As they say, misery loves company.

 

 

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